A.I.R. - Alfie's Irrelevant Remarks

The first recording from them Science Noodles boys, all mixed and properly sorted.

Final Bow by Science Noodles

I don’t normally agree with shameless self promotion but I am making a rare exception today

More Science Noodles:

http://soundcloud.com/science-noodles

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Science-Noodles/102805719756377

http://www.myspace.com/sciencenoodles (Sucktastic)

Please to enjoy.

I feel good because I know most of these bands anyway *smugness*

fuckyeahrocknroll:

boringboringboring:

suicidewatch:

(noone really listens to Captain Beefheart. NO ONE.)

being into music isn’t just an interest…it’s a fucking full time job for some folks.

Music Snobbery is something that most people of a certain demographic will take part in from their late teens well into their early 30s. for most music snobs it was likely that during college they would spend some time working for the local college radio station or at a record store honing their craft…or maybe even starting a band to help out in the endless cycle of trying to be cool and get laid…..or if they were really lucky and had some rich parents or a trust fund they might even put out a record or two on their own label..this is the Mortal Kombat finishing move of Music Snobbery. this is essentially what happens to people who didn’t like sports or weren’t good enough to make their highschool baseball team. and this goes on and on until they stop caring as much about music because they either:
a)have a kid and have less time to devote to finding out about cool music or
b) get burnt out on trying to one up their friends and retire from music snobbery content with the knowledge that they have excellent taste and can no longer learn anything of true value.

back in the olden days before the Internets it was a very difficult thing to be a music snob, you had to read magazine articles and books about underground rock n roll to hear about new bands or “important” older bands and then you had to devote lots of time and money into traveling to out of the way independent record stores or ordering things through the mail without ever hearing it first. this made for some interesting discoveries (raincoats, wipers, vaselines….aka anything kurt cobain listed as a major influence) or it could result in some really crappy cds that you couldn’t sell at the used cd shop (free kitten, gumball!). and back in these happy times it really meant something to be able to namedrop some bands on other music snobs to let them know you were in the know and not a total poseur.

then something terrible happened: THE INTERNET. and everything went to shit and it was as easy as clicking on your mouse and downloading a song by some obscure band from scotland that only had 2 eps and you could suddenly claim you’d heard them way before anyone else or whatever. the effort was now totally gone. but even though it has become much much easier to know about cool music, it’s still important to be into the right cool music…especially if you are a person younger than 23 who is talking about music to a person older than 29. there are certain bands that you must be aware of if you are to ever shed the label of young poseur. post punk as a genre is really a cottage industry for a good name dropper to verse themselves in. liking the Cure and The Smiths don’t count.

a really basic list of bands to name drop if you are worried people think you are a poseur

1. Sonic Youth (although very popular at one time, you must always list them as one of your favorite bands)
2. The Nation Of Ulysses (coolest punk band ever)
3. Nick Cave (Bad Seeds/Birthday Party)
4. Gang Of Four (it’s important to understand that all dance punk bands are gang of four clones)
5. The Jesus And Mary Chain (it’s important to call bands out for ripping off the J&MC)
6. Hawkwind (the cool kids, Pink Floyd. also good for getting high too.)
7. ESG (also good to play their songs at dance parties to impress certain people)
8. Pere Ubu/Rocket From The Tombs/Electric Eels (the whole 70s Cleveland punk scene)
9. Les Rallize Denudes (super obscure Japanese rock band who are considered the Velvet Underground of japan. all their albums are bootlegs and they were using feedback and noise like noone ever had before. also one of them highjacked an airplane one time…so CRAZY points for that.)
10. The Fall/Wire (UK post-punk bands that stayed aroud forever and everyone likes to list as an influence)
11. Brian Eno/John Cale (they produced everything cool in your record collection)
12. The Clean/The Bats/The Verlaines (any indie band from New Zealand as this is the birth of indie pop and that’s what the Shins are)
13. Can/Faust/Amon Duul II (really all Krautrock bands are good)
14. James Chance/Lydia Lunch/anything considered No Wave
15. The Stone Roses (unless you are British…then it’s like listing Nirvana as your favorite band)
16. The Screamers (LA punk pioneers. never released an album)
17. The Gun Club/X/The Zeroes/The Weirdos (other early LA punk bands as they are less popular than New York and London bands)
18. Suicide/New York Dolls/Television (70s new york city punk that isn’t the Ramones or Blondie)
19. Swell Maps (important to note they influenced Pavement)
20. Captain Beefheart (although i don’t know anyone who actually listens to them who isn’t 40)
21. Pylon (unless you live in athens…then it’s not a big deal)
22. The Sonics/the Monks/The Seeds (garage punk pioneers)
23. Neu! (although a Krautrock band…they are even cooler to name drop as they influenced a lot of punk bands)
24. Drive Like Jehu/Scratch Acid/Big Black (thinking man’s dude rock)
25. The Wipers/Raincoats/Vaselines (aka the Kurt Cobain obsessions)

(Worked very hard to get this finished, if there are any faults or errors please inform me)

Public Image Ltd – Metal Box

I’m pretty sure that everyone in England has heard at least one Sex Pistols song. Their thrashy, aggressive guitar is ripped off in most modern “pop-punk bands” left, right and centre (Green Day etc.); John Lydon’s distinctive snarl is still imitated in modern day vocalists, although it’s usually manufactured right over until it’s soft on the ears. The previous four words have nothing in common with the Sex Pistols, or, for that matter, John Lydon’s other band, Public Image Limited. Maybe even less in common.

When the Sex Pistols finally succumbed to an inevitable death after a notoriously short run, I’m pretty sure no one could’ve predicted this next move: John Lydon, after visiting Richard Branson in Jamaica, formulated his next band. Free from the control of Malcolm McClaren and the experimental limitations of his punk rock outfit, Lydon could experiment with his more favoured genres. Such as the avant-garde like Captain Beefheart, or the Dub Reggae he and PiL band mate Jah Wobble were so fond of, or even kraut-rock like Can or Neu. Of course these varying influences wouldn’t be truly realised in the first PiL release, First Issue (Although they are apparent on tracks like Religion II), they would truly shine through in PiL’s definitive release and essential post-punk record, simply titled Metal Box.

And that’s exactly what the album was; a metal box. Released in it’s first pressing as a twelve inch tin, similar to that of a film canister. Metal Box was ridiculously difficult to open, or handle the records (In fact, the re-release continues this trend). But it was popular, so popular that once all copies of the original packaging had been sold they had to re-release it with a standard cardboard sleeve to meet demand.

While the packaging may be spectacular, the album lives up to it’s unique packaging. Opening with a 10-minute track that goes by the name Albatross, Sex Pistols fans, and maybe to a lesser extent, fans of the relatively conventional First Issue would be surprised, some even disappointed. John Lydon sings in an off-putting voice that could turn your stomach, basically it feels nothing like the distinctive Johnny Rotten snarl of the Pistols. It sounds like Lydon finally doing what he wants with music. The albatross in question is most likely The Sex Pistols; Lydon is detaching himself from that part of his life, Johnny Rotten is dead, John Lydon is born. Meanwhile musically, Wobble and Levene’s rattling bass and metallic guitars compliment an aggressive beat, it’s certainly an unsettling way to start the next hour of music. Albatross is followed by Memories, although this song is incredibly different to the 10-minute opener and is much closer to a disco track gone wrong, or sung by John Lydon, by this point the album is already eclectic, what’s next? More disco! Death Disco to be precise, although changed for Metal Box, the third track, Swan Lake, was originally released, as a single by the name of Death Disco. The song is exactly what its original name sounds like it might be. A “death disco”, a funky bass riff, backed with Levene improvising the notes of the Tchaikovsky classic and Lydon sings in his most twisted menace. This song is known to be about Lydon’s mother who was dying of cancer and Lydon had witnessed it. The lyrics “Saw it in her eyes, Choking on a bed, Flowers rotting dead” had they not been backed by this unusual, creepy tune could’ve probably forced a tear out of me. Although, this is clearly Lydon at his most intimate which makes the track incredibly difficult to listen to without feeling uneasy about a lurking presence of death. Now the strange morphing genres don’t stop. Track 4, Poptones is unlike the previous 4 songs, apart from its long, dragging length I suppose. Clocking in at 7 and half minutes, Lydon sings incredibly prose lyrics about driving to the British countryside and getting nude in the woods? Cryptic indeed, but also brilliant; the guitar is an endless, hypnotic riff and the bass rattles all around the track with one of the most aggressive drum beats laid down on record, a personal favourite from the record. Careering, the fifth track on the album has lyrics that deal with an extremely normal human situation and twist them into a haunting, Kafkaesque nightmare. The song has little, maybe no guitars, but instead some incredibly unsettling synths and a drumbeat that sounds like machinery, which combined works perfectly with the lyrics that talk about large, threatening machines. No Birds is the sixth track and the halfway point for the record. There’s no turning back now, it features some shrieking guitars and a similarly steady, aggressive beat. This track is probably one of the most forgettable, although the guitars stand up well to music of today. Graveyard opens with strange horror movie synths, then more standard spiky guitar plays over the track, it’s an instrumental track that gives Wobble and Levene, along with the various drummers that worked on the album a chance to show off their musical skill, it’s another sprawling nightmare. The Suit has Lydon spitting lines of lyrics, perhaps criticizing the businessmen or record executives that Lydon so famously hated. A slow beat, which appears to build an intense atmosphere as the song goes along is complimented by one of Wobble’s central bass moments on the track, it’s a great song with Lydon singing lyrics at an almost Dylan pace, for John at least. Bad Baby follows, with more Lydon shrieks, more cryptic lyrics and a drumbeat that occasionally feels like world music, which would populate the third album so famously, as well as piercing synth lines that show the first signs of the synthpop revolution shortly to come in the 80’s. After Bad Baby, we have one of the most unusual songs on the album; a clear homage to the kraut-rock genre, Socialist surely is. It’s hypnotic bass line, seemingly improvised synths and a motorik beat that could make Kraftwerk jealous. This track feels like it could easily have been taken from Neu ’72. This, like No Birds could be considered forgettable if it wasn’t for the track name. Where do Socialists come into this? Apparently nowhere, it would be interesting to find out where. Next we have Chant, a thumping beat, broken, spiky, metallic guitars and Lydon’s distinctive shriek over the music, this time quite washed out by the back up vocals and intense beat getting heavier and heavier. A great part about this song is Lydon shouting “Chant, Chant, Chant!” It’s an unsettling parody of pop songs typically using a catchy hook or chant to become easily recognisable. But it’s the guitars that make this track so unusual. The metallic sound made by Levene was due to him using an aluminium neck guitar, creating one of the most unique sounds of guitar I’ve ever heard and it’s strange that you can still hear bands attempting to emulate it these days (*cough* Edge *cough*). Now the closer for the album is another instrumental track. Named after BBC’s comedy and factual radio station, Radio 4 is apparently a critique on the typical middle-class attitude of its namesake. Tinged with synthesised orchestras and a subtle bass line hypnotising the listener into submission, this is a beautiful closing track, even if it is intended to be a parody, it closes one of the most unique albums ever in such a special way. It also sounds like the very early traces of post-rock, with the band already beginning to distance themselves from conventional instruments. (This would later be advanced on in their follow up record Flowers of Romance.)

Needless to say the album is pretty spectacular. The songs, as genre jumping as they are certainly do play together well. It has to be one of the greatest records of the 20^th Century, still current today I might add. It’s an album so spectacularly unique that anyone attempting to copy it would be a complete and utter shambles. John Lydon has truly killed the Johnny Rotten away. But please, Mr Lydon. Stay away from the butter commercials.

“Why did I start a stupid blog in I’m not even gonna write it?”

That was me about ten minutes ago…

Okay, things I’m going to write:

• PiL: Metal Box Review - 30 Years On, How Does It Hold Up?
• Why I Love The Clash
• New Bands You Should Listen To

and maybe some other stuff. This is just a warning blog so you know what to expect.

I better not let this perfectly good blog go to waste. So I suppose that means it’s time for…

THE WEEK IN AWESOME:

Edgar Wright’s first official Scott Pilgrim images excited me enough to tears.

Seriously, that picture is so awesome!

• Scott Pilgrim himself
• Back flips
• Flaming Sword/Power Of Love
• Max Fischer overlooking the whole thing!

This film promises epicness!!!

What else is awesome?

Snow is awesome.

At least it is when you don’t have to go to school or work. It means I actually get three weeks off. That was cool and relaxing.

I also got an incredible book called The Greatest Science Fiction Movies Never Made by David Hughes and if you don’t own this please go out and buy it. It is superb!

I suppose that is the entire week in awesomeness, if anyone did read this. Whoever you are I love you and I hope you enjoyed it! :D

(Don’t forget to follow!)

Image Taken From http://www.superherohype.com/news.php?id=8958

What’s been happening in the wonderful world of movies, hypocrites, music and games?

Barack Obama is a Peacemaker? No!   
America’s great and wonderful president, three or so months after being awarded the Nobel Peace Prize has announced he’s pushing more troops into Afghanistan. Hypocrisy much?

See here for more: Barack Obama Pushing More Troops into Afghanistan - http://bit.ly/8873CH

Now I want to kill my eyes. Why? Because a new spoof movie who’s sole purpose to destroy your mind has reared its ugly head:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OaWFeGxuXgM

Look’s god-awful. I mean it looks really bad. It’s making Aaron Friedberg & Jason Seltzer’s career look like that of Martin Scorsese or Danny Boyle’s. This really is bad. 2012 is coming. (You’ll notice in the information of the video the guy said: it appears to be a spoof of Judd Apatow films NO SHIT!)

How about some Avatar? You know, that ridiculously over budgeted hype fest about a paralyzed marine caught in between a battle between a peaceful bunch of Smurfs and a load of bloodthirsty marines? Yeah that’s the one. Hey guess what? It’s unfinished. How about that? I can just imagine James Cameron going to the studio execs like “I need more time”. Expect the last half hour to consist of crude stick figures drawn in real, digital 3-D by Cameron himself. Actually don’t because it’s only sound problems or SFX, Which leads to this hilarious video:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jk7tUKaW59I

But how is the Avatar Game faring? That’s the prequel or spin off game where you can play as a Na’vi and use shitty primal clubs or completely kick ass with the futuristic marines and their crazy guns. I know whom I’d choose. The Na’vi of course.

IGN gave the game 6.0 and although they praised the graphics, they criticised the game play, sound and lasting appeal. This is how I hope Avatar is received when it’s released. I imagine it won’t be. Actually the film will probably engage the world in ever-loving peace and harmony. Why stop at the world James? Have the film projected onto the moon and let all the other galaxies come and see it and before you know it the Marines and the Na’vi will be at peace.

Staying on Avatar just quickly. Apparently the Na’vi, like the elves or the klingons, have a language, a whole language. Expect a bunch of fat nerds to be speaking Na’vi at next years comic con, I’m already brushing up on mine with the help of Oxfords English to Na’vi dictionary.

See here for more:  30 minutes of Avatar remain unfinished - http://bit.ly/4zZx1P
IGN’s Avatar game review - http://bit.ly/5UteLR
Avatar Linguist Wants Na’vi Language to be the Next Klingon - http://bit.ly/6uDNln

What about the state of TV? Well, what about it. At the moment, every time I turn my head in the direction of TV fans, they’re either talking about I’m a wash up Celebrity or The X Factor. Why? Why do people insist on watching these shit heads prance about either a jungle or a big, infested stage? I just don’t understand. Simon Cowell obviously does. He sees a fat check at the end of the day out of the hideous annual Christmas singles. As depressing as the X factor is, there was one Christmas single/X Factor related piece of news that cheered me up.

Obviously a lot of people have had enough of the Christmas singles being X factor every year. Apparently Tracy & Jon Morter are going to go atomic if that doesn’t change. They set up a facebook petition to get Rage Against the Machine’s Killing in the Name at number one for Christmas. How awesome is that? Not only is it different but it’s also an awesome song. The petition has my full support and hopefully my Brothers also.

See here for more info: RAGE AGAINST THE MACHINE FOR CHRISTMAS NO.1 Facebook Group http://bit.ly/inthename

Anyway, enough about the X Factor. Otherwise I’ll go mad and try to kill Simon Cowell. What about TV I’ve been watching? I don’t watch much but I checked out last week and this week’s Gavin & Stacey and it was great. I have to say, I enjoyed the first two series and it’s special thoroughly, but after the cringingly bad sketch show from Horne & Corden and the negatively received Lesbian Vampire Killers I had a feeling that this series would also be full of stale and insensitive jokes, instead we get an emotive James Corden missing his friend, Mat Horne having difficulties adapting to Welsh life and Alison Steadman playing Horne’s pleased mother Pamela hilariously as always. This is an unbelievably refreshing, charming and funny show as opposed to a lot of other cynical comedies like Armando Ianucci’s fantastic, semi improvised The Thick Of It, which at the time of writing is yet to air its first of a two parter. I am a late boarder on the Thick Of It train, but since watching it on demand I’ve been anticipating on a weekly basis more so than some people with Christmas or Simon Cowell with his paycheck.

How about recent films? I went to see paranormal activity last week and my god was it scary? It’s not stupid, blood and gore scary but it’s instead atmospherically terrifying. Just by using subtle door movements or weird noises or lights turning on randomly, it’s managed to make the scariest movie I’ve seen in cinema, if not ever. Let’s just say it makes The Blair Witch Project look like a pussy. Not that I ever liked The Blair Witch Project. In short, go and see it, it’ll scare the wits out of you if you can use your imagination wisely.

See here for more info: Paranormal Activity IMDb Profile - http://bit.ly/16RwAb

Two weeks ago I also went to see Fantastic Mr. Fox, the new film from one of my favourite directors, Wes Anderson, to sum it up quickly; it’s an incredibly charming and welcoming film that’ll leave you feeling warm ages after you’ve left and you’re sitting in a freezer with no clothes on. I loved it, so did my brother. Expect a longer review/analysis on the blog soon.

See here for more info: Fantastic Mr. Fox IMDb Profile - http://bit.ly/l4gg

So, that’s the bullshit factor for the last few weeks, I might see if I can make this into fortnightly or monthly thing.

I understand this blog may be terribly organized. I may sort it one day and insert pictures but I will never make that mistake again. Here’s some shredding hilarity to cheer everyone up:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vQRvqkmKmKo

You will also be able to read this on my other blog, http://subterraneandumdumblues.blogspot.com/